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Fake It To Make It: A Guy’s Guide to Becoming the Person You Want to Be

By the title alone, I sound a bit superficial (ya think?). Yet, case studies and conventional wisdom have shown, if you desire a certain trait, acting as if you already obtain that traint can propel you to actually own it. Even if you were an athlete in the Olympics, “tricking” your brain into doing as you wish it to, is an ultimate tool in getting what you tell it.

Conquering Fear

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Teddy Roosevelt once said, “There were all kinds of things I was afraid of at first, ranging from grizzly bears to “mean” horses and gun-fighters; but by acting as if I was not afraid I gradually ceased to be afraid.”

 

 

Are you afraid of social situations? It might sound cheesy (just do it at home in the mirror), but practice a few open ended questions to use the next time you’re at a networking or social engagement. Need a few ideas to get you started? Here ya go:

Headed to a Networking Gig for Work?

  • “How’s it goin’? So what brought you here?”
  • “What industry are you in? How did you get into the __________ business?”
  • “Are you involved in any associations or nonprofits? What do you find to be the most valuable in them?”

Going to a party where you don’t know many people?

  • “Hi! I like your _______________ (hat/dress/style). So, how do you know the host?”
  • “So, where are you from?”
  • “What kinds of stuff do you like to do for fun?”

Sadness

Or, maybe you’re experiencing depressive symptoms right now. Did something recently happen to propel this feeling for you? Or, is it something you’ve dealt with for a long time? Either way, firstly consider counseling. Even if you haven’t tried it before, it’s been proven time and time again to improve mood and create a release for uncomfortable emotions.

 

Stress

Another way to lessen symptoms is to tell yourself that you are not stressed, that you have all the time you need to accomplish your tasks, that you are capable, smart, kind and worthy. Telling yourself these things on a regular basis can help alleviate some of the stress you may be feeling. Make sure to speak to yourself in a supportive way, even if it feels embarrassing. Even athletes and fighters user inner talk to strengthen themselves for competition. Treat yourself as the warrior of your life. Trying this tactic could make a difference. It’s worth a try.

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Defeat

Feeling defeated at work or in life in general. I know the feeling. That’s why they call life a rollercoaster. It certainly has it’s ups and downs and you never really know what’s around the bend. Well, how to deal with it when you feel like you’ve failed? Number one, forget about it. Okay, not completely, because you need to learn from it, yes, but stop thinking about it. Right now. Stop. There you go. Let it be. Now, think about what you could do in your life right now to make it a tad better. Should you freshen up and take a shower? How about stretching for five? Need to make a quick call home? Do whatever it is to make your immediate situation better. That decision will lead to a series of better decisions and eventually, you’ll be back on your feet.

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