The sheer nature of boss-employee relationship, regardless of how laid-back it might be, guarantees that there will be at least some friction and tension. The boss, in essence, needs you to do some work for them and has a spectrum of tools to use in getting what they want out of you. This will always cause strain, that’s just how it is. Work-related stress falls under the top five life pressures for the majority of working people. Read more “Difficult Bosses: A Man’s Survival Guide”
You might be saying, “duh” right now that pets can help you with mindfulness and loneliness. Or, maybe the connection isn’t as clear to you yet. Have you owned a pet before? How did your pet make you feel? If you have had one, you probably remember the times you were doing something and then had to completely shift your focus because your pet did x, y or z. Or, the times when you were running around the house, then stopped to hang out with your pet because it just felt good for a minute (or… a mindful moment). See what we did there?
Pets help us shift our focus, sometimes for the good, and sometimes for the “not so good” like when you have to clean up a mess. Yet, either way, they can take our attention from our heads to our hearts and that unconditional love they give (except for a few swarmy cats perhaps!) is a trait humans should be aiming for each day. Read more “Pets Can Help You With Mindfulness (And Loneliness)”
Medicaid is one of the biggest insurance providers for young and adult men in the Denver area.
It provides medical and mental health coverage for those who are eligible based on their income. Counseling can be pushed out of the budget when you are just trying to make ends meet. And, perhaps that is something that we can discuss together in counseling – what to do when life is stressful due to money. It can cause so many challenges and can even be simultaneously damaging your self-esteem. It might also be preventing medical care of other kinds. Don’t let taking care of your mental health come last.
Here at Stephen Rodgers Counseling, we are excited to be one of the a Medicaid provider for the County of Denver.
We provide high quality, evidence based and personalized counseling for men. Oftentimes at large mental health centers you might feel that you treated as just another name and number. Stephen Rodgers Counseling is different. Think of our practice as a boutique Medicaid provider specializing in personalized care.
The type we accept is Colorado Access Medicaid or ABC (http://coaccess.com/). With Colorado Access Medicaid, there is no co-pay. This is the best way to get covered for high quality therapy services.
Making an appointment to get high quality, personalized therapy services is as easy as 3 steps:
1) Have Colorado Access Medicaid
2) Make an appointment with our Medicaid specialist Mike Meltzer, LCSW
3) Start on the road to living the life you deserve
If you have Colorado Access Medicaid, making an appointment is easy and fast. Our Medicaid therapist is Mike Meltzer, LCSW and he is now accepting new clients. Read Mike’s bio here.
A friend of mine recently went home for the holidays to discover some members telling him that “there is no more Aunt Carrie.” He grew up with Aunt Carrie from birth. Aunt Carrie was at every family holiday, his graduation, his wedding, everything.
Aunt Carrie and Uncle Mike had a divorce when they were in high school, but they still stayed friends and he still saw them together at holidays and events as they had two children that were my friend’s cousins from their marriage. “There is no more Aunt Carrie,” they told him, because she had recently moved in with a new boyfriend.
Family Changes Are Hard
Aunt Carrie also had a few other issues that came to light, including the fact that for all these years, her coca cola was laced with the vodka that she carried with her everywhere she went. Family secrets unearthed, family changes happening. My friend’s first thoughts were not even thoughts at all, they were confusion. They love Aunt Carrie.
In all reality, my friend will possibly not see her Aunt very often, possibly ever again, or who knows. You see, they live far apart to begin with and now she has moved even farther, and my friend may very well be the only person in the family to visit her along with her own children. My friend is experiencing family changes and they are hard.
How to Cope with Family Changes
There are other parts to family changes too. They can happen from a divorce like my friend, but they also happen in another way such as a new family member. This one, I personally understand. I recently had a child of my own and having a new baby and new family member is strange!! (Mind you, awesome, but strange!!)
There is a new person to consider in plans when it comes to, well, everything. Also, my relationships with my cousins and family members is different now. We’re not drinking quite as late or as much on special occasions. The language I use has changed. My priorities are different. Again, family changes.
Coping with change is a challenge, but both the most adept men and the most casual of us can thrive during change, even when it feels unnatural. First thing? Let go. Literally breathe it out. I often think about the book the Great Gatsby when I think of change. You see, the main character tries to recreate the past, exactly as it once was, in hopes that it will be the same. It will never be the same and in the end, he is consumed by his efforts. Try not to “Gatsby” yourself and accept these new family changes. In the end, the path of least resistance is usually best.
What Can You Change?
Nothing really. We can’t change anyone besides ourselves. We can gain understanding though and we can make sure we are drinking enough water, eating our vegetables and practicing mindfulness. Sometimes, when the mind is stressed, taking care of the body can help you regain focus. I recommend the Mood Food Clinic in Denver if you think diet might be something to take a look at in your life. Simple dietary changes affect the gut which directly affects the mind. This is being proven repeatedly in reputable scientific studies.
Counseling is the other piece. Men don’t have much acceptance in being able to talk about their problems. If we do, we tend to turn it into a joke or let it come out in anger or passive aggressiveness. It’s not “manly” to talk about your problems to your friends and family. We disagree. Talking and working out your problems man to man is a way to grow immensely. It actually makes you mentally and physically stronger. Taking care of emotions can even improve your immune system. And you might find yourself experiencing more “luck” on a regular basis because you’re more often a better version of yourself.
Counseling for Men
Our practice focuses specifically on men’s issues because let’s face it, we need a place to go to figure out complex problems, and there aren’t many. We work with mindfulness, encourage healthiness, and listen to what’s going on in your life so that you can be a better man. Perhaps one you are proud of, who knows when to say no and when to say yes. Maybe, just maybe this could the step you’ve needed, but didn’t know you did. If you’re ready to take a leap, try scheduling a session with one of our therapists at Stephen Rodgers Counseling of Denver.
In our previous blog “Attachment Styles and How We Relate to Others” we talked about four main ways in which we tend to form our relationships and try to satisfy our emotional needs
We also mentioned that attachment styles are something that we acquire in our childhood and mostly stick to it throughout our lives.
This post will dig deeper into what potential problems a non-secure attachment style can cause for our life and that of our partners, as well as why and how we can prevent or stop maladaptive behavior in romantic relationships.
Where is the problem?
Our attachments originate from our first attachment experience, that with our primary caretaker, usually our mothers. Following this relationship, we build on it over the course our formative years and add in different beliefs about the world and the people that surround us.
With time, we incorporate all our early experiences and form what we believe to be our own way of approaching others and needing them. Yet, the problem arises basically from the fact that, when we first acquired our attachment style, we had fairly shallow and necessarily limited understanding of the world. But we rarely revisit these deeply rooted feelings, ways and beliefs as adults.
So, if we grew up, for example, with our needs in childhood being inconsistently satisfied, or not at all, it is possible that we will form a worldview in which we, on one hand, have strong need for intimacy, but on the other, we strongly doubt that we are worth it.
In other words, the fact that our needs were unpredictably satisfied when we were growing up made us develop a profound feeling of our own inadequacy, of not being deserving of love and praise. We interpreted this situation as being our fault because we lack what was needed to receive the affection that we needed. And we hardly ever set our intention to address such conviction when we grow up – we just have an overwhelming feeling of not being good enough, while we also crave closeness and bond. We develop a preoccupied attachment style, and spend our relationships in an anxious and insatiable need for closeness that we never seem to satisfy to the fullest. This especially becomes a problem if we seek out a dismissive partner, which is often the case. Then our behavior could be, and often is, described as clingy, possessive, demanding of attention, and it is often what drives others away.
Or, if you grew up to be a dismissive-avoidant individual, you will most likely indulge in pseudo-independence, as you probably decided that “you don’t need anyone” as a way of coping with unsatisfied emotional needs as a child. You learned to shut down emotionally and to disconnect easily from others, often as a consequence of being or feeling abandoned by your caretaker(s). This might have worked for you at that moment and helped you cope with enormous pain of not being able to develop closeness with your mother or father figures, but such strategy prevents you from forming significant relationships and experience intimacy as an adult, robbing you of a very important aspect of life.
Fearful-avoidant attachment style is often developed in a household where the child could not count on his or her needs being met, even when it comes to the most basic ones. It is not uncommon that a fearful-avoidant adult survived a trauma as a child. Such person will realize the need for an intimate relationship with others and crave it, but also feel terrified of the possibility of being hurt. As a result, the romantic relationships that you will experience will be explosive, full of turmoil and stress, often described as passionate and wild, but basically highly unhealthy for everyone involved.
What to do about our non-secure attachment styles?
In short, as adults, we will tend to confirm our deep-seated and most commonly unconscious convictions of how interpersonal relationships should look like, and especially how romantic partners ought to interact. Unfortunately, if our attachment style is insecure, these beliefs will set a stage for countless troubles and heartbreaks. This is why it is important to determine our attachment style and to address any non-secure elements with a psychotherapist who will help you find your way through this maze.
Especially helpful for this kind of issue is eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy (or EMDR). For most of us, our memories begin with recollections of what had happened to us when we were somewhere around the age of 5. Yet, the relational trauma and the development of insecure attachment style mostly occurs even earlier in our childhood, when our memories are non-verbal and remain in the sphere of emotions. This is why EMDR is highly effective choice of treatment, as it mobilizes the brain’s adaptive information processing mechanisms and can, therefore, re-pattern our non-secure attachment style that was formed before our thinking became predominantly verbal.
By choosing to work on your attachment style with a psychotherapist, you can finally free yourself of your early experiences and your early understanding of the world, and liberate yourself to form authentic and meaningful intimate relationships.
You might already have noticed that many (if not all) of your significant romantic relationships tend to have something in common.
Your current and ex-partners all might be fairly different from each other in most of their characteristics, but there is probably at least one thing that they all share, and that is the way in which you relate to them.
Some relationships will work out and some won’t, but in all probability, you (and your partners as well) will have a tendency to behave, feel, and react in one specific manner. This relatively steady form of relating to our love partners is called attachment style.
Attachment style is something that is formed during our early childhood, and it is something that affects (maybe even dictates) how we will choose our partners, how those relationships will develop, and usually, how they will end.
This and our next blog post will explain what attachments styles are there, how they are formed and help you determine how you relate to others. After you get to understand yourself in your love life a bit better, we will also explain how destructive attachments can be mended with the help of psychotherapy so that you can love and relate to others free of unhealthy patterns in behavior and emotions.
What are Attachment Styles and How We Got Ours?
When we were children, we had certain experiences within our family, and everything that we experienced, either directly or indirectly, affected who we will become in our future relationships.
Our first taste of the world and others came when we were infants through the way in which our caregivers interacted with us. Human infants, similar to other mammals, are equipped with a range of behaviors that have a function to maintain physical proximity of the caregiver (usually mother in the first months of life), thus ensure protection, care, and support.
Babies cry, cling, search for, and do everything in their power to remain close to their mothers. This closeness needs to be not only physical, but also psychological, as the child’s emotional needs become almost equally important as biological ones. And mothers (or other primary caregivers) react in a certain way to their child, responding to their attempts to get attention they need in a certain way.
These dynamics develop our means of getting needs met which develops into stable attachment styles projecting themselves into adulthood (although it is not uncommon that attachment style changes over time, both towards more secure and towards insecure attachments).
Adulthood attachment styles, in essence, are manifested as the way in which we react to our emotional needs in a relationship, and how we try to meet those needs.
Based on our attachment style and that of our partner’s, we will most likely feel either confident and secure in our relationship or marriage, or we will feel insecure in a number of ways.
What follows is a brief overview of four attachment styles that we see in adults as well as children.
Four Attachment Styles
The basic dimensions of attachment, according to attachment theory, are avoidance and anxiety. These can be low or high in our relationship with others, and based on the combination of these dimensions we get the four attachment styles: secure (low avoidance and low anxiety), preoccupied (low avoidance but high anxiety), fearful-avoidant (high avoidance and high anxiety), and dismissing-avoidant (high avoidance but low anxiety). Apart from the secure model (which, fortunately, is found in approximately 60% of adults), the remaining three usually come with problems in emotional life.
A securely attached person is confident, and tends to be more satisfied with their relationship. They feel connected and close to their partner, but also have a need to allow themselves and their partner enough space and freedom. A securely attached person is independent, but in distress finds and offers comfort within the relationship. It is an ideal way of relating to others, with affection, intimacy, and healthy independence.
Preoccupied individuals have a burning need to be close to their partner as their anxiety is high to the point of emotional hunger. This is especially true in any stressful situation, when a preoccupied person will have a strong need to be constantly reassured of their partner’s affection. Yet, by being clingy, possessive, and highly demanding, they often drive the partner further away and the vicious cycle of insecurity and clingy-ness closes.
Fearful-avoidant persons experience high levels of ambivalence in their relationships, as they are afraid of both being both too close with and too separate from their partner. Such difficult position often results in true emotional outbursts, and their relationships tend to be chaotic, dramatic, with many break-ups and getting back together. In essence, a person with this attachment style will feel the need to be close to their partner, but will also believe that if you’re too close to someone, you are bound to be hurt and betrayed.
Finally, dismissing-avoidant individuals have a strong need for something that is only pseudo-independence. They distance themselves from their partners and tend to their inner world, disregarding the human need to be close to another person, which allows them to detach from their partners with ease and remain somewhat cold and composed in situations that would make others lose their cool. Such person will have difficulties forming meaningful relationships, as true relationship with another person demands certain level of bond and closeness.
These are just basic descriptions of four attachment styles and of their foundational characteristics. Every person is somewhere on the plane where anxiety and avoidance cross, and the exact nature of our attachment can usually be expressed as a level to which we are securely or insecurely attached, rather than us falling into a strict attachment style category. In order to understand how you relate to others, take this free online test that will help you determine your own attachment style and maybe get to know yourself in your love life a bit better:
Regardless of how many times a breakup might happen to a person, whether it is the first time or the hundredth, whether you are the one who ended it or you were abandoned, for whatever reason, after whatever amount of time spent in that relationship, there is one universal fact, and that is – it is a change, one that more often than not comes very difficult to both and brings many hardships.
People cope with this fact of life in many ways, usually finding their way to deal with all the emotions and to move on somehow. But, there are both adaptive and destructive paths on this journey. First might help you become a better version of you, while the latter could cause a lot of pain, problems, and negativity for both you and your ex-partner. This post will go over both what to do and what not to do when you find yourself single again.
3 Unhealthy Ways to Cope with a Breakup (or What Not to Do)
- Keep contacting your ex. If you were the one who ended it, but you’re having second thoughts or tough time letting go, it’s not fair to your ex to prevent her from healing. If you are sure about getting back together then by all means, do contact her, but otherwise don’t, and let her move on. And if you were the one who was left, then keep asking for your ex’s attention might make things direr. However it ended originally, this could cause a much worse and colder reaction and surely hinder your recovery.
- Ruminate over your relationship and the breakup. You do need to gain some insight from what happened, how you behaved, how you felt, and where you are now. In this way, you will understand yourself better and possibly know more about your needs, your habits, your mistakes. But ruminating over every aspect of the relationship and the breakup is a maladaptive pattern of thinking that will inevitably cause you to linger in what is long gone and loose the opportunity to grow and learn from it. Therefore, try to use these thoughts to recognize a pattern, learn something, and then let the thought go.
- Drinking, smoking, doing drugs or becoming sexually promiscuous. It is understandable if you feel devastated and you just need to numb the pain. But it is a mistake if you think that such self-harming behavior will help you in any way. In best case, all the pain and dilemmas will wait for you the second you get sober. In worst case, you might endanger your life to the point of no repair. But one thing is sure, and that is that you will end up with more problems than what you started with, and with damage to your body and mind.
4 Healthy Ways to Cope
- Take care of yourself. Dealing with all the emotions and changes that come with a breakup is hard for you, physically and mentally. In order not to let this experience destroy you, you need to take care of your soul and your body. Eat healthy, exercise, sleep regularly, maintain a routine to help you through, read or engage in any healthy activity you enjoy.
- Get the support you need. This is the perfect time to reconnect with other important people in your life. Reach out to your friends and family, and let them know you need support. You will be amazed by how much a genuine support and just having pleasant time with your loved ones can contribute to the speed in which you recover from a nasty end of a relationship.
- Experience all your emotions. It’s tempting to sweep the pain under the rug and bury yourself into work, or just pretend everything is just fine. But it’s not, and this is normal. And the more you postpone feeling the entire range of emotions (anger, guilt, sadness, despair, loss of hope, loss of meaning, fear…), the harder it will be for you to truly heal and move on. Not to mention how this will deprive you of the opportunity to really get to know yourself and learn about the richness of your inner world. Feeling pain is not a comfortable experience, but it’s a part of life. So acknowledge it and learn to cope with it, and the next time, you’ll be a stronger person.
- Use this experience to grow. Finally, the breakup happened. Whatever the reason, and whatever the future might be, this is a very valuable learning experience. You should use this opportunity to learn about yourself, and to find ways to use the breakup as a lever to your personal growth. Use the energy this gives you, be it a negative one, to produce something good for yourself. Explore your interests, explore your mistakes, explore your needs and desires. Understand your weaknesses and your good sides. And find a unique way to transform this unfortunate experience into a progress and self-growth.
Breakups are hard. Always. And we usually get through them somehow. But, whatever your personal situation might be, seeing a psychotherapist is always a good idea when a breakup happens. You might have troubles seeing things objectively, you might need additional support apart from your friends and family, you might need someone to help you deal with some deeper insecurities or destructive patterns in love relationships that you might not even be aware of.
As we already pointed out, a breakup is one of the life’s chances to grow and to learn. Having an expert help on this path is what will make a painful and tough experience a truly positive event in your life story.
Men face some serious challenges when it comes to mental health. Men make up nearly 80% of suicide deaths and are less likely than women to seek help for problems like depression. To make matters worse, the mental health resources geared towards helping men in a way that is authentic and appealing to them are sparse and hard to find. One place men can start right away is with their own nutrition. Bottom line? Your food affects your mood. And diet and nutrition make up a big piece of the puzzle for many people.
Did you know that the food you eat can have a significant impact on your mood? It comes as a surprise to many people, but it’s true!
Like Stephen, I too am passionate about helping men. Before I get into information about nutrition for mental health, let me tell you very briefly about myself and why I do the work I do.
I started MoodFood Clinic to help men with practical solutions to physical and mental health issues.
I became a Nutrition Therapist because of my own experience with bipolar disorder in my early 20’s. I went through a suicidal bipolar nightmare, during which time I went to years of talk therapy and took more psychiatric medications than I can recall.
After multiple suicide attempts I was eventually hospitalized. I even tried electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) before finally discovering that a junk food diet was at the root of my struggles.
By fixing my diet and healing myself with good nutrition, I was able to recover from bipolar disorder and go back to work after years of being too sick to hold a job or go to school. I am now recovered from bipolar disorder and no longer take any psychiatric medications.
I was so moved by my recovery that I quit my previous career in IT as a computer technician to attend nutrition school to learn everything I could about nutrition for mental health. My passion in life is bringing that knowledge to other men who are struggling.
My approach appeals to men because we discuss their feelings in the context of their biochemistry (aka the millions of chemical reactions in the body that determine things like whether you have enough serotonin to feel happy, and whether you have enough dopamine to have good energy, focus and concentration). If this sounds interesting to you, keep reading and I’ll give you some pointers you can implement today to improve your mood just by changing what and how you eat!
I tell my clients, “Fix your biochemistry and you will fix your mood.” I’ve seen it work.
MoodFood Clinic’s approach is science-based and supported by an ever-growing body of research. Common problems that contribute to depression and anxiety are gut infections and dysbiosis, an imbalance of bacteria in the intestine. Yes, really! Gut health is strongly correlated with mental health and chronic gut inflammation resulting from gut infections like small intestinal bacterial overgrowth (SIBO), candida (a yeast overgrowth) and Clostrium difficile, or C. diff for short.
These problems are all strongly implicated in depression and anxiety. They are also scientific examples of root causes that can lead to serious mental health issues. I work with my clients to identify whatever root cause is leading to their symptoms of depression and anxiety. Then, I use advanced lab testing to identify these conditions and targeted nutrition with high power supplements to address them. At MoodFood Clinic, clients can reclaim their lives and get back to doing the things they want to do instead of dealing with depression and anxiety.
Yet another common cause of these depression and anxiety symptoms is blood sugar imbalance.
Many Americans over-consume sugar and refined carbohydrates like bread and pasta. Unfortunately, this puts them on what I call a “blood sugar roller coaster.” And, when you’re on a blood sugar roller coaster it’s very difficult to maintain a stable mood. So, if you struggle with depression or anxiety, this is one step you can take on your own to improve your mood today!
Try these simple tips to keep your blood sugar more balanced:
- Start the day with plenty of healthy fats and adequate protein for breakfast
- For example, eat two eggs fried in butter, half an avocado and a small apple
- Good quality uncured bacon is another good choice
- Eat healthy fats and protein with every meal
- Eat a portion of protein like chicken, beef, lamb or bison the size of your palm
- Include nuts and seeds like walnuts and hemp seeds
- Eat regularly and don’t skip meals
- Snack on organic beef jerky and celery sticks with almond butter
- Make sure not to skip meals – this deregulates blood sugar
- Minimize refined carbohydrates and sugars
- Eat lots of non-starchy vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower, onion and bok choy
- Cut down on bread, pasta, tortillas, pancakes, candy and soda
Want to give it a try? Try implementing these changes for a period of two to three weeks and see how you feel. After making these relatively simply changes, many people are surprised by how much better their mood and temperament become.
As you can see from the recommendations above, supporting your mood by eating well doesn’t mean you are doomed to a fate of eating a vegetarian diet or one made up of nothing but salads, smoothies and rice cakes. In fact, the opposite is true! I recommend foods that real men eat. Consequently, there are no fad diets or juice cleanses at MoodFood Clinic.
If you have benefited from talk therapy but feel like there is another piece missing from your mental health, or if you’re interested in natural alternatives to psychiatric medication, contact Aaron at MoodFood Clinic today!
I offer a free 20 minute introductory phone call. In the call, we’ll discuss your specific symptoms and needs. It’s a great way to determine if MoodFood Clinic is a good fit. Additionally, we can answer any questions you may have about what it’s like to work with me.
Meditation is Part of Mindfulness.
It’s a notion that is possibly as foreign to an average Western guy as is yoga, if not even more. (Lotus flower what?) Yet, meditation has always been traditionally practiced by men in the Eastern Hemisphere where it originates from. In our previous post, we spoke about yoga for men. We discussed why it is so difficult for men to initiate interest in practicing it, and once they’ve overcome that hurdle, how to get past the social, physical, and psychological barriers that are prominent in Western society. Most classes are still a majority women.
Yoga is becoming more and more widely known, and accepted by men however. It’s been long known that football teams have used other balance-oriented physical activity such as ballet to improve strength. Thus, mindful, wellness oriented men are aware of the good benefits of yoga. Empirically, meditation has also been proven repeatedly to increase mental and physical wellness. Yet, even so, it’s still difficult to overcome those societal “barriers.”
Mindfulness meditation is a practice in which a person exercises voluntary attention in order to bring their mind into a state of greater clarity, calmness, and balance. You’ve probably heard about mindfulness here or there and you might even know that it supposedly brings a lot of good to those who practice it. While this is definitely true, let’s dig deeper into the effects it has on your mind and body.
Why Try Mindfulness Meditation?
- Mindfulness reduces rumination.
- Intrusive repetitive thoughts are associated with depression and other emotional disorders. Even novices report ruminating less after as little as ten days of mindful meditation.
- Mindfulness reduces stress.
- This is among the most researched and solidly established effects of mindfulness meditation.
- Mindfulness boosts working memory.
- Mindfulness boosts our cognitive functioning and our working memory efficacy. Such effects of mindful meditation increase our overall productivity and clarity of mind.
- Mindfulness increases focus.
- Those who practice mindful meditation have a greater ability to focus one’s attention and ignore distracting stimuli.
- Mindfulness leads to a reduction in emotional reactivity.
- Mindfulness makes us the rulers of our own emotions. You can better control your anger, jealousy, bitterness, or any other negative feeling.
- Mindfulness brings greater cognitive flexibility.
- By being less emotionally reactive (and having greater focus as well as a more efficiently operating working memory), our minds become more flexible. Some would describe it as being more creative in work, relationships, or thinking in general.
- Mindfulness helps our relationships.
- Many studies show that mindfulness increases our self-awareness and empathy by reducing impulsive reactions. Meditation also helps to decrease rumination and holding on to past (negative) events or conflicts.
- Mindfulness brings health benefits.
- In addition to these psychological effects, mindfulness is closely associated with a range of health benefits. Meditation helps increase immune system functionality, reduces in the strain put on cardiovascular system, improves cortisol levels and provides a neurological system “reset.”
There are Many Forms of Meditation.
In essence, this is a wide term that can encompass many practices, some of which you might already be exercising in some way even if you’re not aware of it. Meditation, in a sense, is any form of conscious and deliberate effort to focus your mind or influence the state of consciousness for the sake of greater balance, concentration, empathy and understanding, and gain control over your thoughts, emotions and actions. Therefore, whenever you, for example, tried to count to ten before reacting, attempted to stop ruminating, reminded yourself to be in the present instead of thinking of past ills, you performed a kind of meditation without knowing it. So, there’s no good reason why not to try a more structured and guided mode of those efforts in a form of mindfulness meditation.
What is interesting is that many interventions in psychotherapy incorporate mindfulness and meditative techniques. So, if you feel that you need a gradual introduction to meditation, visiting a psychotherapist who will help you with your focus, stress, emotions, balance… This could be a little closer to our Western way of thinking and an opening to the benefits of Eastern practices at the same time. Speaking of, that’s how I also operate my practice. Read more about my unique zen-influenced modalities.
Davis, D. M. & Hayes, J. A. (2012). What are the benefits of mindfulness. Monitor on Psychology, Vol 43, No. 7, p. 64
Stop. Breathe. & Think. App on iPhone.
Okay, I know what you may be thinking. I hear it a lot. “I/my husband/my son/etc. need(s) therapy, but I need to know if I can afford it or not.” My answer to you is that counseling is absolutely priceless.
Let me help you see if we can figure this out together and go over the costs in general, so that you are aware, able to plan ahead, or have some resources to be able to fund therapy. Remember the rule that what you pay for is what you get. The same goes for therapists.
Counseling is a preventative and therapeutic healing practice. It can help you recover faster and avoid dramatic events with some tools.
I believe in paying for the value that you are receiving. I also believe that the therapeutic relationship should only be between the you and the therapist. Not you, the therapist, and the insurance company. Why? When insurance companies become involved in the therapeutic relationship, they demand a unneeded diagnosis and can limit therapy sessions. This is wrong. My rates are competitive and affordable as compared to those in my industry. However, I realize that everyone has a choice when they make an investment. You should definitely make a wise one when it comes to your health and who you choose to work with.
One way to see if we’re a good fit is to try out my free mindfulness challenge on your own.
I also highly recommend just getting outside and journaling first and foremost. Run if you can. Sweat. Drink water. Sit in the sunshine. Stretch. Do these every day. Each day, you will start to feel stronger. And, if you feel stronger, you might feel more positive. Then, if you feel more positive, you might talk to more people. If you talk to more people you might find more opportunities come your way.
As a licensed therapist for over 10 years, I have advanced training in evidence based practices such as EMDR, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (zen-based) and Mindfulness-Based Therapy. Additionally, I use a lot of zen practice in my sessions and use many of its tools to help you practice mindfulness in between sessions.
I Welcome Anyone Going Through a Challenging Time.
Contact me to get started or ask any questions you want. Try my quiz out if you think that you’ve been feeling less than great for longer than you’d like at this point. I personally answer each quiz that comes through. And, if you do need help right now, please call 911 or your local hospital. They have to admit you through the emergency room, and while you may think you don’t want to be a bother, your safety is more important than that.
To schedule an appointment with me, click the button below
or call (720) 295-4233.